How do I connect with others? Morning Mental Fitness (6)

We come to the last minute, the last question and the last brain area of this Morning Mental Fitness Program. It involves a specialized part of your Limbic System, the Anterior Cingulate Gyrus (sometimes called the Anterior Cingulate Cortex).

Anatomy: The Anterior Cingulate Gyrus

The Anterior Cingulate Gyrus simply means “the front part of the belt-like bulge.” The Anterior Cingulate Gyrus, part of the Limbic System, is wrapped around the Corpus Collosum, a big bundle of nerves that connect your left and right brains. One main function of the Anterior Cingulate Gyrus is empathy. Empathy keeps us connected as people; strapped into life together.

Empathy is a special emotion. It feels others’ pain, their joy, catches their laughter, their tears and their enthusiasm. Many brain areas connect to the Anterior Cingulate Gyrus. The Amygdala is an important connection to the Anterior Cingulate Gyrus as it mediates our pain. We really do feel each other’s pain, in empathy. If you see someone who is physically injured or someone in a flood of tears, your Anterior Cingulate Gyrus and your Amygdala combine to let you feel their pain. Then there’s the connection between the Anterior Cingulate Gyrus and the Pre-Frontal Cortex. When we mix empathy with thought we can get to compassion: how can I be helpful to this person? Empathy is “limbic resonance.”[i]

Limbic resonance

We resonate with people around us just as musical instruments resonate with each other in an orchestra. Your Anterior Cingulate Gyrus empathy helps you feel whether you are “in tune” with the people around you. If you grate against others, you’ll notice, they’ll notice, so we try to re-tune ourselves to resonate well again.

It’s as if our Limbic Systems collectively meet and connect through empathy: I get a good vibe from him; she doesn’t resonate with me; I’ll chime in with that; that rings true; he strikes a chord with me; we’re on the same wave-length. These musical terms describe Limbic System feelings; limbic resonance. It’s physical, like music. When talking, we “mirror” another person’s tone of voice, posture, and mannerisms. If someone laughs, we naturally laugh along; it’s contagious. We naturally chime in with a group to share brain chemicals.

We humans are a little like a flock of birds taking off together or a school of fish turning as one. We instinctually “go with the flow” at sporting events, rock concerts, comedy clubs, dance parties, and at funerals. Like zebras, wildebeest or homing geese, we’re connected; we resonate like instruments in an orchestra. This is likely mediated through mirror neurons, and brain chemicals like beta endorphin and oxytocin.

Who do I connect with ?

 When you first ask this question, you’ll only think about the people close to you: your love-partner, your family and friends. The longer you meditate and the more you consider this question, however, the more you will experience being connected to acquaintances, colleagues, fellow citizens, strangers and maybe even everyone. Limbic resonance, empathy, means we are all connected.

Be aware of some characteristics of your connection to others:

We live with each other

We affect (resonate with) each other

We read each other (to resonate together)

These characteristics will lead you to more questions

         With whom do I share my life?

         How do I affect others?

         What do others read in me?

 The practice

Five minutes: First think, then feel, want, come across, and be connected.

As you breathe in during this last minute of your five-minute Morning Mental Fitness Program, ask yourself with whom am I connected? Answer the question. Call someone to mind. Feel your empathic connection with them, if you like them or not.

As you breathe out, feel the connection with this person. Enjoy it. Simply be aware that you are connected.

Be aware that you breathe in and out the same molecules that other human beings throughout the world and throughout history have breathed in and out. Through your breath, you’re connected to everyone.

Being aware of people connections during the morning meditation and during the day, will, ideally, allow you to live a life with more empathy for others, more compassion, kindness and love.

This is the fifth minute of your 5-minute morning meditation; it is the fifth question and the fifth brain area of this Morning Mental Fitness Program.

[i] Lewis, Thomas, Fari Amini, and Richard Lannon. A general theory of love. Vintage, 2001, p63.