OK Addictions (Part A): Accept Accountability & Take Responsibility
This is the first in a four-part series on OK addictions; “addictions” that bring long-term pleasure and little emotional pain. If you’re addicted to things like methamphetamine, smoking, gambling or pornography, you may find yourself in emotional pain and paying a high cost for your addiction. As a psychiatrist, that’s what I see a lot: people going for pleasure but finding pain. But the only cost for an OK addiction is the effort needed to practice the skill or to keep motivated.
OK addictions include being
A music maniac
A gym junkie
Addicted to your lover
Addicted to having good friends
A sunset seeker
A juggling junkie.
I’m not just trying to be clever. You really do get to decide your addictions. Your life has room enough for a cocaine addiction or a good relationship, but usually not both. You can be addicted to pumping iron to keep fit or to getting drunk twice a week, but usually not both. The people I see choose the wrong addictions. They went for the pleasure thinking that long-term addiction wouldn’t happen to them.
Nobody hooked on heroin ever said
You know what, I want short-term pleasure but also long-term pain. I’ll enjoy myself for a while but I’ll also accept the painful cravings, being in and out of rehab clinics for decades and hurting my family members by stealing from them and causing them heartache. Then I hope to battle a deep sense of failure for years until I find some self-belief and purpose again.
Rather, people tend to think
I want the pleasure, but the long-term side effects won’t happen to me. I’m strong. I’ll beat the odds. I’ll be OK.
Utter crap. Drug addictions are not OK, they cost too much of your future and bring you too much pain. Find an OK addiction instead.
OK addictions build strength in you, life skills, like Accepting Accountability and taking responsibility. They benefit you and others: mountain climbing, a sports, learning about worthwhile things, artistic expression, music, reading, exercise, or group activities. These help you enjoy life, make you interesting, purposeful, healthy and more content in the long-term.
OK addictions have the following characteristics:
Effort before the pleasure payoff
Short-term pleasure and long-term contentment
Enjoying life in line with your values and life-goals
They move you forward in life
They never making you feel bad.
Accepting Accountability
OK addictions Accept Accountability & take responsibility like this:
I’m aware of the consequences of my OK addiction, and I accept them. In fact, I love them. I only have myself to thank. I’ve been practicing juggling for half-an-hour daily. I’m addicted and I’m getting damn good!! The consequences? I’m healthier, I have a better brain, I’m more coordinated, it feels good being good at something, it’s fun, and I get to entertain friends.
My addiction is basketball. I practice & I’m getting better. The consequences? I’m healthier, more relaxed, fitter, I have a great group of friends, it’s fun and I feel good about myself. Oh, and a few trophies.
My addiction is playing the guitar and singing. I’m getting good. The consequences? Good music, People feel good about me at late night parties, I feel good about myself.
Not-OK addictions avoid accountability & responsibility:
I gamble and take crystal meth because I’m stressed, life hurts, I’m lonely, and it takes too much effort to work through the emotional pain. So what if I’m sicker, I sniffle, I’m out of money and people think I’m wasting my life? I just want to feel good now.
This attitude is understandable but it doesn’t move you forward in life, it holds you back. To Accept Accountability and take responsibility, ask yourself:
Am I OK with my addiction?
Is this what I really want?
Is this the right thing for me now?
Then ask your future self:
Hey, self in ten years’ time, are you OK with this?
Do you mind if I do this for the rest of my life?
Then ask the people who care about you:
Are you OK with my addiction?
How does my addiction benefit you?
An OK addiction brings less pain now, and more contentment for the future, and for the people around you. You Accept Accountability and take responsibility for the good stuff your OK addiction brings.
OK. Enjoy life, long-term.